


Silly Squad Goals

by fuzzy_reflections



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Library, Autistic Harry Potter, Funny, Gen, Humor, Librarians, Muggle Life, Nonbinary Character, Original Character(s), Summer, everyone is autistic because it turns out i can't write neurotypicals, except actually it's humour bc we're in england
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-02-18 21:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 6,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22800271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzy_reflections/pseuds/fuzzy_reflections
Summary: Harry becomes a volunteer in Little Whinging Library over the summer. Chaos ensues.
Comments: 19
Kudos: 80





	1. the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> It's set in Summer 2020 because I can't be bothered with historical accuracy. This is a work of fiction. Any apparent resemblance or reference to real-life libraries, library staff, library incidents and library customers is totally coincidental. Even if the author did work in real life libraries in Surrey, they wouldn't tell you.
> 
> But also if you're 14-25 years old and in the UK, you should totally volunteer to help with this year's summer reading challenge lol.

This was it. Enough was enough.

Harry needed to get away from the Dursleys.

But he was only 14 years old - too young for Thorpe Park to accept him for a summer job cleaning vomit from the rollercoasters.

As Harry walked down Little Whinging High Street, he saw a sign in a window that would go on to change his life forever.

* * *

Harry made his way into Little Whinging Library. Someone in a green lanyard with a they/them pronoun badge was sitting behind the desk engaged in a whispered conversation with a toy penguin. They looked up as Harry approached. 

"Err.. Can I become a Summer Reading Challenge volunteer?" Harry asked awkwardly.

The person on the desk smiled an enormous smile. "How old are you?" they questioned.

"I'm fourteen," Harry replied.

"Then yes! Just fill in the online application, then I can do your interview today, then an adult who's responsible for you has to sign some forms, then you're ours forever!"

"I'm Daisy, by the way," they said, leading Harry over to a public computer.

"Err.. I'm Harry."

"Awesome! Now fill in the form!"

* * *

"So why do you want to be a Summer Reading Challenge volunteer?" asked Daisy, who was now wearing glasses.

"To get out of the house," Harry responded. "Also my friend Hermione really likes libraries".

"Hermione sounds great! But don't worry, you're valid. Do you like books?"

"Sure?" Harry replied.

"Great! Do you consider yourself brave enough to endure terrifying trials of courage?"

"Err.. yes?"

"You're totally hired!" Daisy said with a smile. "Now just get your responsible adults to sign these forms and then we can work out your hours".

Fortunately, at the age of 14 Harry had become very proficient at forging his Uncle Vernon's signature.

* * *

"Wow, that was fast!" said Daisy as Harry handed back his forms about 10 minutes later.

"Yeah, my Aunt and Uncle live near here," Harry responded quickly.

"Right. So, training. First, I guess I give you a tour..."

* * *

"The stickers on the side of the books all have meanings".

"This is the self-service machine. It lights up different colours to communicate how it's feeling. Pink means it's hungry, red means it's lonely, that sort of thing".

"The ceiling leaks sometimes. Don't worry about it".

"If anyone says the word 'asbestos', come and get me".

"These are the computers. They still run on Windows 7 and a lot of the network restrictions can be bypassed with some basic Python. There also used to be more of them but the government took them away from us".

"If a child wants to chew a book, direct them to these ones. Actually, if a child wants to chew anything direct them to one of these books".

"This is the secret staff area which also includes the toilet. We only have to let people pee when we have events happening. If there's no event, tell them to go to Costa next door. But also tell them to buy something because otherwise the Costa people get smad at me".

"The fire door isn't actually physically alarmed. It's.. metaphorically alarmed".

"This is the cupboard. It's where we go to cry and have private conversations. We also keep things here".

"If you gotta use the toilet or if you're freaking out or you really don't wanna do something, just tell me. You're a volunteer so by showing up you're already performing a minor miracle".

Daisy spun around with a smile. "Any questions?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah! This story is going to be a mess and only updated from my local library because I only write with Writemonkey but my laptop is a Macbook. I am sure the library staff will never find out what I'm doing. Unless I tell them. I'm not really that great at keeping secrets to be honest.
> 
> Next chapter: Rhymetime.


	2. terrifying trials

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter: Harry endures a terrifying trial of courage (aka Rhymetime)

"What's your favourite number?" Daisy asked Harry, randomly.

"Err.. seven?" 

"I hereby pronounce you Super Silly Summer Reading Challenge Volunteer Squad Member Number 7," Daisy proclaimed, hanging a bright orange lanyard around Harry's neck.

"I should probably tell you about what to do if there's a fire and stuff, but since I'm about to tell it to a whole group of people, you can just listen. Usually I write a song list before starting but we don't really have time for that today.

"I'm gonna go for a wee and chug some coffee. Try to like, calm your energies or meditate or something," Daisy said, as they wandered off in the direction of the secret staff toilets, leaving Harry alone to ponder what on earth was about to happen and hope that it wasn't going to be one of those 'terrifying trials of courage' that Daisy had mentioned earlier.

* * *

"Alright, I'm back! Now it's time for that terrifying trial of courage I was telling you about! Just sit there and help cause mayhem!” They paused. “Oh, and try not to say any swear words, but if you do then whatever you do, don’t draw attention to it. You’ll be fine!”

* * *

Within seconds, Harry found himself sitting on the floor holding some bells and surrounded by hordes of tiny children who had apparently appeared out of nowhere.

"Good morning everyone and welcome to Rhymetime! I'm Daisy, and this is my Super Silly Summer Reading Challenge Squad Member Number 7, Harry!"

* * *

It was chaos.

Daisy was screaming out nursery rhymes while playing music with an ancient-looking android tablet. You couldn't really hear the tablet, and in fact Harry didn't think that they were always singing the same words or tune as the tablet, and they certainly weren't in time with it.

Nevertheless, the children seemed thrilled.

Harry just sat there shaking his bells and wondering what on Earth he had gotten himself into.

* * *

As Daisy was telling all the children to pretend to be asleep for the sleeping penguin song, they leaned over to whisper in Harry's ear.

"Try to count how many children and how many grown ups".

Harry nodded in understanding. How hard could it be?

* * *

They sang the sleeping penguin song. The little penguins slept, and the little penguins hopped, then the little penguins went back to sleep, then hopped again.

It should have been a heartwarming scene, but Daisy did end up having to yell out "No biting, little penguins!" at one point, and four of the children had decided to go to sleep on top of each other.

* * *

"DID YER COUNT THEM, HARRY?" Daisy yelled.

But Harry's seeker skills had been no match for a roomful of tiny children.

"There were just so many of them, and they moved so fast..." Harry started, shaken.

"There were 18 grown-ups and 20 children, Harry," Daisy replied. "Sometimes we get even more!"

* * *

Daisy and Harry were standing behind the desk a few minutes later. Daisy was scanning some books and Harry was trying to reconcile the musical mayhem he’d just experienced with his mental vision of libraries as a quiet, peaceful place. 

”Amy has something to say to you, don’t you Amy?” said a man with a small child who had approached the desk when Harry hadn’t been paying attention. 

”Thankyou!!” the small child whispered very quickly, a massive smile on her face.

”You’re so welcome!” Daisy replied. “Would you like a sticker?”

As Daisy was fetching a sticker, the man leaned over the desk conspiratorially. “She talks about you in her sleep you know.”

Daisy nodded solemnly while sticking a caterpillar sticker on the child. “Yeah, that’s normal,” they reassured. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I was never going to update from my phone and then I did, so if anything looks a bit messed up that’s probably why. It’s half term right now so the library is full of children and I am suffering. There are just so many...
> 
> Anyways. Next chapter Harry discovers what the Summer Reading Challenge is!


	3. the worst thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when I used to work at a theme park sometimes people would say "is this really the right place for you to work? it's so noisy and busy and chaotic". yesterday, someone said the same thing to me about the fact that i work in a library! -_-
> 
> in this chapter: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

"Alright, so I guess it's probably time to tell you about the Summer Reading Challenge, since it's starting next week," mentioned Daisy offhandedly. "Did you ever do it as a child?"

"Err.. no," Harry replied.

"That's alright. But it really is the most important thing in the universe that happens all year. Except for possibly Penguin Awareness day.. Basically, the kiddos read books to get prizes. 2 books for a bookmark and some stickers, 4 books for some more stickers, 6 books for the final stickers and a certificate and a medal! We also do a version for tiny kids where the top prize is a gold sticker.

"Oh yeah, and this year's theme is Silly Squad, so I'm taking that to mean we have to tell lots of child-appropriate jokes and field even more requests than usual for Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Captain Underpants. What do you call a zombie that runs real fast?"

"Err.. I don't know?"

"A zoom-bie!!!"

* * *

"So technically I'm supposed to make you sit a table all day to talk to the kids about the books they've read, but we don't get that many kids and I don't want you to just be sitting there doing nothing so you're basically going to be doing everything.

If anyone asks you a difficult question, call me! You're going to see some horrific things, but you'll be okay!"

* * *

"So what's the worst thing that you've ever seen in a library?"

Daisy froze. A cold breeze passed through the library.

"The.. the worst thing.." they started.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Harry said quickly.

"No, it's alright," Daisy replied, steeling themself.

"It was the January of 2020. I was working in a bigger library, much more fearsome than this one. I was alone on the ground floor when the only customer I've ever been afraid of came up to me. She needed help printing. Printing colour pictures of human poo from her council flat.."

Daisy broke out of their reverie for a moment. "That's not why I'm a bit scared of her by the way. One time she was going to chisel my head in, but anyways. I help her with the printing. Photocopier's printing blanks again, so I fix that at the same time. While I'm doing that, someone calls me over. He needs help plagarising a cover letter but when I touch the computer mouse.."

Daisy trailed off, their face morose.

"When I touched it.. it was GREASY! And not just any grease: he'd been eating fried chicken at the computer!"

Harry was completely horrified. "But.. but the customers aren't allowed to eat fried chicken at the computers!" he reasoned.

"Other libraries have more relaxed rules," Daisy responded direly. "Oh, and of course someone nicked all the money out of the photocopier in between chisel lady and fried chicken guy because I forgot to take the key out. Worst 10 minutes of my career".

"Yikes," responded Harry. There was nothing more to be said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the story in the last section is actually 100% true. though actually only probably the second worst 10 minutes of my library career, coming to think of it...
> 
> next chapter: Harry receives his first ever management responsibility and we discover that Daisy is in fact not the only person who works in Little Whinging Library ever


	4. trans rights = valid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cannot decide whether or not to give this library a lego club. on the one hand, lego club fun. on the other hand, lego club scary. on a third hand, fun and scary is probably exactly what people look for in fanfiction (or something).
> 
> in this chapter: a child sees harry's scar, daisy gives harry management responsibilty, and a new character is mentioned!

A tiny child came up to Harry.

"Why is there a lightning on your head?"

"Because.. because a bad wizard hit me with a spell to try to kill me but it bounced back and killed him instead! Except it didn't kill him well enough so now he's back and hunting me down!" Harry replied.

"Coooollllll," said the child, who then turned around and ran back in the direction of the tiny children books.

"Cool story bro," said Daisy, who had been standing behind Harry the whole time. "You're a natural! Next time leave out the part about him coming back and hunting you down though, because I do not want to explain to my managers why I've been letting you give kids nightmares."

Daisy paused, a thinking expression on their face. "Maybe add something about the spell bouncing back because of how shiny your head is. Rubbing Vaseline on your scar might even be good for it, who knows?"

Harry wasn't quite sure what to say to this idea so chose to change the subject. "You have managers?" he asked.

"They're the reason we still use Galaxy," Daisy responded morosely.

"You mean like the chocolate?" asked Harry, confused.

"Nah, like the ancient library management software. Everyone else is using either Spark or Spydus, but we're really big on fire safety here in Surrey County Council so they thought that Spark would send the wrong message, and my manager Heather is scared of spiders, so she won't get Spydus because it sounds too much like spiders," Daisy explained.

Harry could sympathise. "My friend Ron hates spiders too," he said.

* * *

"So, Do You Know Your Alphabet?" announced Daisy. Harry decided this was probably a rhetorical question, as they pulled out an ancient looking copy of 'The WLNA Handbook'.

"This is the book that we make all the Weekend Library Network Assistants read. You're more than welcome to borrow this copy and read through it if you like," said Daisy.

The book did not look particularly fun. "Is there another option?" Harry asked.

Daisy shrugged. "Yeah, I guess we can just do on-the-job learning and I correct your mistakes as we go," they offered.

"Nice," replied Harry.

* * *

"Okay so I'm about to give you your first ever management responsibility... Shelf Management!" Daisy said gleefully.

Harry was not reassured by Daisy's gleefulness.

"In the non-fiction section, the books have little numbers on the sides. Makes it easier to find the books if we put them in the right order. They should also have yellow stickers with three-letter codes as well. Those are the Reader Interest Categories. Nobody knows what they mean, though I'm fairly sure that TRV stands for Trans Rights are Valid," Daisy explained.

Harry stared back at them blankly.

"Oh yeah, I was supposed to be telling you what to do," realised Daisy. "Pick a section of non-fiction books and check if they're in the right order. If any of them look really gross, give them to me and then later I'll show you what we do with gross books. When you get bored or stuck or lost or if there are just too many little numbers and letters, shout. I'll be updating the Twitter".

* * *

@LittleWhingingLib: come 2 the library we have books! uwu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trans rights = valid, tell ur friends.
> 
> wrote this one in a library where the public computers are near the non-fiction shelves so the reader interest categories were strongly on my mind. fun fact: once I wanted to go on strike because I wanted more lunch cover so I asked my manager if I could put all the books upside-down and redefine the reader interest categories so that TRA meant Tractors but she said no :(.
> 
> next chapter: harry encounters a fantastic beast that care of magical creatures had not prepared him for...


	5. photocopying 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on annual leave right now so I'm causing chaos in the library in the town I live in! ...well, I'm typing on one of the computers and hiding from any staff who might recognise me.
> 
> Harry doesn't meet the fantastic beast in this chapter because I didn't get a chance to look at the manual for its real-life counterpart. Instead, he meets one of the other fantastic beasts of the library: the photocopier. The photocopier doesn't even do anything wrong in this chapter, coming to think of it.

"I need to photocopy these documents," stated a man who was glaring at Harry in a way that wasn't particularly friendly of him.

"Err.." Harry responded.

Daisy jumped in. "It's 10p per A4 page black and white or £1 a page colour. The photocopier only takes exact change, but we can give you change if you don't have the right amount."

The man turned to glare at Daisy. "I don't know exactly how many pages there are".

"I can count them for you if you like?" Daisy offered.

"No." The man replied. "Can you not just photocopy them and then I pay after?"

Daisy glared at the man thoughtfully, then shrugged. "Sure".

* * *

The trio were standing by the photocopier.

"I have a code that lets me photocopy without putting money in. I'm not supposed to tell it to you, but it's 123456," Daisy whispered to Harry.

Harry nodded in understanding. The man continued to glare at them.

* * *

"So you put each page upside-down in the photocopier, in the top left-hand corner, then shut the lid and press the button that says 'copy black and white'," Daisy explained.

The man glared. "Can't you do it all for me? I'm not an expert on this technology. My taxes pay for you to do it for me."

"Harry?" Daisy asked, "Can you do it for him?"

"Err.. Sure, I guess?" Harry responded.

* * *

"So that's £2.30 all together!" announced Daisy.

"Isn't there a discount for the number of pages I did?" the man asked, as he glared at Daisy.

"No." they responded.

"Fine," replied the man. "Where is your card machine?"

There was a long silence. Harry began to debate the merits of performing underage magic to stun the man and run away.

Daisy smiled a cold smile. "We don't have one," they said. "Either you can go to the cashpoint down the road, or if you have a library card we can put the charge on your account and then you can pay it at the self-service machine".

The man was not happy. "What do you mean you don't have a card machine? It's 2020! I have lived in Little Whinging my entire life, I shouldn't need to have a library card! I want to speak to your manager!" he exclaimed.

"I'm the only member of staff here right now," Daisy responded calmly, "And even if my manager was here, they wouldn't be able to give us a card machine. But as a gesture of goodwill, I'm happy to put the charge on my own library card to enable you to pay by card on this occasion. You're also welcome to fill in a comment card while I do that".

* * *

It was a devastating ordeal. First Daisy added the charge to their account, then they had to convince the man to walk to the self-service machine on the other side of the library to pay it. But pay it he did, and Daisy smiled as they handed him his photocopying and he left, grumbling about how awful libraries were.

"Is photocopying always like that?" Harry asked.

"Only sometimes," Daisy replied, "And at least he's gone now - and he left a comment card!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helping with the photocopier is still much better than helping with the scanner. And at least the glaring man respected everyone's personal space and did not call anyone "gorgeous".
> 
> Edit: my real life photocopier code is not 123456, however many library passwords are similarly complex.
> 
> Next chapter: Harry is sent on a quest!


	6. epic quest time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Libraries are wild but I think I will get coffee before writing any more today.
> 
> In this chapter: Harry goes on an epic quest!

"I think it's time I sent you on an epic quest!" announced Daisy.

Harry was beginning to get used to the library, so wasn't too worried and figured he was just going to Tesco to buy a newspaper or toilet roll or something.

"It's shelf check time!" said Daisy.

This did not sound like Tesco. "What's shelf check time?" Harry asked.

"I give you a list of books that are hidden somewhere in the library. Your task is to try to find them all!" Daisy handed Harry a long slip of receipt paper.

"Why is it coloured in?" asked Harry.

"It's a clue!" Daisy whispered.

* * *

"I coloured it in so that the colours are the same as the stickers on the books. The thrillers are red because blood is red and lots of people get grusomely murdered in them. The historical novels are green because in the olden days there were more trees. The small children books are dark blue because.." Daisy paused.

"Because you shouldn't throw small children in the ocean?" Harry offered.

"Yeah!" Daisy responded, enthused. "You're really getting the hang of this!"

* * *

"Oh yeah the books are alphabetical by author's surname in the fiction sections," mentioned Daisy, who had been following Harry around on his quest. "Prefixes shelve by the prefix, hyphenateds shelve by the beginning bit, two part surnames shelve by the last one".

Harry definitely did not get what Daisy was talking about with the last part, but the first part did help him out a little.

* * *

"Are the books on the list all definitely here?" Harry asked, suspiciously. He had been so sure that he was searching in the right place, but none of the books had been there.

"Nope!" Daisy replied cheerfully, "But they are supposed to be".

* * *

"Are the picture books in any order?" asked Harry.

"The hardback (so HBK) ones are over there , the paperback (PBK) ones are over here, and the chewy ones (BB) are in the thingy!" Daisy replied.

"What does BB stand for?" Harry asked.

"Books to Be eating?" Daisy suggested.

* * *

"Can I give up?" asked Harry after half an hour had passed with him only finding five of the twelve books on his list.

"Yeah, sure," said Daisy. "You did good! Now we scan them!"

* * *

"When you scan the book, the computer will give you a secret two letter code. You write the code on a slip of paper and put the slip of paper in the book with the code poking out, then you throw the book in one of these crates," Daisy explained.

The first book was for AD - Addlestone.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Daisy. "Addlestone's the first library in Surrey alphabetically! What a great library - I hear they have a police station".

"The library has a police station?" asked Harry.

"Yep!" Daisy replied. "I think they did it because libraries and police are both run by the government so could share a building, but mostly it just means that anyone in Addlestone who does crimes avoids the library, which is quite sad.. Anyways, Addlestone is in the North West, so you throw it in the crate that says NW. There's a list on the wall of which place is in which crate".

* * *

"The ones you couldn't find, usually I would mark them as missing but also no offence but I don't trust your book-finding skills yet so I'll look for them myself later".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter with no customers? Yeah, sometimes life's like that.
> 
> Also Addlestone Library is low-key my favourite because they once had a 50p adult dvd sale.
> 
> https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/4214654/addlestone-library-adult-dvd-sale-surrey/
> 
> Next chapter: I'm thinking probably a more planned-out Rhymetime sesh?


	7. rhymetime time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter? pointless. i love it. some of it's literally from the time when i considered scripting rhymetime so i would be less likely to say silly things. very authentic.

"Don't worry kiddo, I'm an expert," Daisy reassured.

"First we gotta figure out if we have any announcements. This time around, the only announcement is a new consultation thingy, the summer reading challenge and also the craft event next week and the leaking roof. I haven't decided what the craft event is going to be yet, but I'm sure it'll be epic".

"Now we figure out the songs! We have to start with a hello song and then the penguin hello song because of 'standardisation' or whatever."

"Then we need to pick a strong opener. The strongest song we have is 'if you're happy and you know it', but we use that as our closer to make sure everyone leaves happy. And also because it's easy to drag out for ages."

"Then we just add other songs thematically until we have like 14 ish!"

_anouncemints:_   
_\- consultation?_   
_\- summer reading challenge 2k20_   
_\- Craft next week?????_   
_\- roof :(_   
_\- fire, pee, fun, photos_   
_songs:_   
_\- hello everyone_   
_\- penguin hello_   
_\- head sholders knees toes (strong opener)_   
_\- put ur fingr on ur nose (anatomical)_   
_\- 5 little ducks (counting)_   
_\- tiny turtl (swimming animal)_   
_\- walking thru the jungle (scary)_   
_\- dingl dangl scarecrow (sleepy after walk)_   
_\- old macdonald (farm)_   
_\- butterfly song (an animal)_   
_\- zoom zoom zoom (rockets also fly)_   
_\- twinkl twinkl (also in sky)_   
_\- open shut them (also hands)_   
_\- sleeping penguins/bunnies (sleepy)_   
_\- penguin bye bye_   
_\- if ur happy and u know it_

* * *

**Dramatic monologue:**

Good morning everyone and welcome to Rhymetime! I'm Daisy and this is Harry, my Super Silly Summer Reading Challenge Squad Member Number 7!

I have some great announcements today. They’re literally wonderful.

Firstly, Surrey County Council would absolutely love your opinion on their latest consultation about whether each department deserves funding. Yes, they have updated the diversity monitoring questionnaire at the end to be even more offensive than it already was. I’m sure you’ll all find it... an experience! Paper copies are at the desk or there’s posters with the website address if you want to do it online.

Secondly? It’s totally almost Summer Reading Challenge time and this year’s theme is Silly Squad. We also have a version of the challenge for tiny children where they can win a gold sticker and a piece of paper if any of you are interested in that. Err.. What do you call a zombie that runs real fast?

I don’t know.

A zoom-bie!!!

We're also going to be doing a craft next week to celebrate the launch. I haven't decided what it's going to be yet, but whatever it is, I have to charge £1 per child.

Anyways. The roof is leaking again so try to keep your kids out of the area we’ve taped off.

You should all consider getting library cards. And borrowing books and stuff.

If the fire alarm goes off then we are all going to Leave. Out of that door there, taking the children with us but not the pushchairs. We then stand in the car park for a while, but it’ll be okay because I’ll come with you.

If you wish to use our amazing toilet and baby change facilities, that’s great! The member of staff at the desk will be happy to unlock a door and then stand outside. I also recommend the Costa next door, but only if you'd also like to buy something there.

Joining in is encouraged. As much as I do believe I’m the best singer in the entire universe ever, even Beyoncé has her backing singers. And if we all sing along and do the actions, it makes it more fun for everyone!

You’re more than welcome to take pictures of me and of your own children, but if you end up getting anyone else’s child in the photo please don’t post it on social media.

Also, no biting.

Let us begin by singing hello to everyone!

* * *

Knowing about Daisy's decision making processes did help to make things a little more coherent for Harry. He sat and shook some bells, and even joined in with some of the choruses and pulled funny faces at the tiny children.

He still didn't manage to count them, though.

* * *

"That was such a beautiful rhymetime everyone! I feel honoured to have been a part of making such amazing music!" Daisy yelled exhaustedly, marking the end of the session.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annual leave is still boring. I've been playing a lot of sims and procrastinating tidying my flat. Also the craft in the story is probably going to end up being whatever we're doing for world book day next week. I want to do a live-action reenactment of The Gruffalo but I feel like we don't have enough staff.. and that's also not a craft :(
> 
> Next chapter maybe I will work on having some actual story and dialogue? Who knows. Oh, actually I might have someone recognise Harry! That'll be fun.


	8. fantastic beasts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's only a short one and it's the fantastic beast thing because i didn't have the creative energies in my soul for much else. i have craft tomorrow and since i under-prepped my last craft i have now over-prepped this one and my kids are gonna make the best paper plate dinosaurs in the entire freaking universe!
> 
> in this chapter: harry and daisy face a fantastic beast.

The library was ominously calm. It felt to Harry almost as though he was seeing the bookshelves through rose-tinted glasses. Then he realised: The self-service machine was glowing pink.

"Daisy?" Harry asked cautiously. "I think the self-service machine is trying to communicate something to us".

Daisy gazed towards the machine. A resigned expression appeared on their face.

"What does it mean?" asked Harry.

"Don't panic, but it's hungry," replied Daisy, before turning around and shutting themself in a cupboard.

* * *

"We just have to feed it before it turns purple," Daisy shouted from the cupboard they were hiding in.

"Should I hide in the cupboard too?" asked Harry worriedly.

"What?" said Daisy, emerging from the cupboard. "No. I was just fetching some till roll". They held up what appeared to be toilet roll, but for machines.

The machine continued to glow.

* * *

"Have you seen my keys?" Daisy asked Harry.

"Err.. no?" Harry replied, wondering if this was really the time for Daisy to be searching for their keys.

"It's chill, I found them!" Daisy announced. "We need them to open up the machine!"

"I thought we were only feeding it!" Harry exclaimed in panic, not at all prepared for a potential surgical operation.

"Yeah, we have to open it up to feed it, but it'll be okay," explained Daisy in a way that was probably supposed to be reassuring.

* * *

Harry and Daisy stood before the monster. Its mocking pink glow continued. Daisy opened up its insides using the key.

"Okay so what we have to do is take the old till roll out and put the new till roll in." Daisy explained, reaching into the machine and pulling out an almost completely used up version of the mechanical toilet roll and replacing it with a new one before relocking the machine. Its glow returned to a reassuring green.

All was well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fantastic beast will absolutely be back in future chapters don't worry. i'm also thinking of getting harry to write to hagrid and hagrid naming it. name suggestions are welcome. also i'm going to let harry feed the beast himself sometime so that we can find out what happens when you do it wrong >:).
> 
> next chapter: probably one of the customers recognises harry as that delinquent. yikes! if not, i'll make harry suffer through the self-service machine training because i got to teach a real-life teenager about it on saturday and there's a great acronym! :)


	9. that delinquent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today my kiddos are gonna read the classic tale "the dinosaur that pooped a rainbow" and it'll b epic. tomorrow i really am gonna cause big-time chaos in the library in the town i live in bc i'm volunteering and wearing my dinosaur costume "for world book day". also on saturday i really do get to do a live-action reenactment of the gruffalo because a big library is lending me their puppets!!! :D
> 
> in this chapter: someone recognises harry, we begin preparation for a dino craft.

Harry was chilling behind the desk cutting out dinosaur body parts.

"Oh goodness gracious, it's that delinquent nephew of the Dursley's!" a woman exclaimed. "What on earth is he doing behind the desk?"

She poked Daisy. "Ought I call the police?" she asked.

"Err.. no," Daisy replied. "Harry's volunteering here over the summer!"

The woman narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Is this some sort of community service programme? Aren't you worried he'll steal something?"

"Harry's actually been really great," Daisy reassured. "If anything, I wish more of my volunteers were like him!"

"Well!" said the woman. "As much as your charity is commendable, I certainly shan't be coming back here! And since you've given him scissors I just don't feel safe!" She then stormed graciously out of the building.

* * *

Daisy pulled a funny face. "Why does she think you're a delinquent?" they asked Harry.

"Because my relatives probably told her that I am?" Harry offered.

"Fair enough." Daisy responded. "Honestly you don't seem that delinquent to me, no offence."

"None taken," Harry replied, cutting out some more dinosaur legs.

Daisy looked as though they were considering saying something else, but before they had a chance to the telephone rang.

* * *

"Li'l Whin'in' Lib'ry, Daisy speakin'."

"Oh hi Heather! Yeah, everything's good here! Got Harry cutting out dino parts and I was just about to get started on making some posters."

"Oh."

"Harry didn't do anything - he didn't even speak to her, I did. She just has a preconceived idea of him as 'the Dursley's delinquent nephew', but I promise you he's been a great volunteer."

"I do trust him with scissors, yes."

"I'm sure we probably do always have at least two adult members of staff on duty when he's here maybe."

"His dinosaurs are very authentic."

"Yeah, I'll call you!"

"Awesome thanks bye!"

* * *

@LittleWhingingLib: next week we're gonna b making dinosoz! £1 per child, under 8s must b accompanied by an adult :) *dino emoji*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate the dursleys?? it's like.. i want my story to be funny but no they gave harry a miserable child/teenagerhood and idk how to fix that. but also honestly probably harry would try to spend the entire library time not thinking about them? so idk.
> 
> in the next chapter: maybe someone will make a library card. maybe we will actually prepare for the summer reading challenge. or maybe a child will cry. i do not yet know.


	10. library card time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a dire time for the library service: they took away all my tiny animals and instruments because of coronavirus :'( this also meant no gruffalo puppets! on the bright side, having the kids sing to a photo of a penguin and mime throwing scarves in the air? absolutely hilarious, 100% recommend.
> 
> in this chapter: a library card is created.

"Oh, this book looks good!" exclaimed Daisy.

Harry looked. The book really did look good. Good enough for him to want to read it, in fact. "I'd love to read that book," he said.

"Then borrow it lol," Daisy replied.

"I..." Harry trailed off. "I can't".

"Why not?" Daisy asked.

"I don't have a library card," Harry admitted morosely.

Daisy looked back at him, a heartbroken expression on their face. "Oh you poor thing!"

* * *

"We.. we need to fix this!" announced Daisy after several minutes of contemplation.

"It's no use," Harry replied. "My relatives won't come to the library to be my guarantor".

Daisy adopted a serious expression, and also responsibility for any charges incurred on Harry's account. "I shall be your responsible adult!" they cried.

* * *

"Since I'm your responsible adult, you're getting the bunny rabbit card," said Daisy.

Harry nodded in understanding. A bunny rabbit card was a small price to pay for access to all the resources Surrey Libraries had to offer.

"What's your favourite 4 digit number?" Daisy asked.

"0109," Harry replied.

"Whyyy?" Daisy asked, confused.

"It's when I get to go back to school," Harry explained. "Love school".

"And you say your friend is the studious one!" Daisy responded, awestruck.

* * *

Summer reading challenge preparation was well underway in The Great Library of Little Whinging. Daisy was studiously studying a joke book, having assigned Harry to hide the treasure hunt characters around the library within line of sight of the children's area.

As Harry stuck a character onto the side of the photocopier, he was struck by an ingenious thought.

"Daisy?" he asked excitedly, "Can we create some terrifying trials for the tiny children?"

"I love your thinking. What kind of terrifying trials?" they replied

"Giant chess, poisoned potions, flying keys, fighting trolls, that sort of thing," Harry responded.

Daisy had to think about it for a few moments. "Yes to the chess but we're gonna have to borrow it from the youth centre, no to poison, yes to paper planes, yes to troll fights as long as it's chess fights! This is gonna be the best summer reading challenge ever!" they exclaimed.

"Nice," Harry replied, tentatively sticking a character to the underside of the self service machine as he tried not to cry - the self service machine was still a bit scary to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have lego club this afternoon :'(
> 
> next chapter: either a lego club or maybe something else! who knows


	11. coronavirus! in the library!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I've been moved to arguably the worst library in the world (no it's not West Byfleet lol), and it's a bit miserable. This, combined with the major accessibility fails the library service has been committing, the office clear-out where they threw away my stuff, the general lack of staff, and of course the general lawlessness, have made me kinda unhappy and mad at libraries.
> 
> But of course I do still love them deep down.
> 
> So uh. I sure was wrong about how the 2020 summer reading challenge was gonna go, huh.
> 
> Coronavirus is now going to hit Little Whinging library, but I'll probably use a lot of artistic license and let them do a bunch of things that wouldn't have been allowed in real life.
> 
> In this chapter: the library begins to feel the effects of covid, and Harry receives a promotion.

“We’re not allowed volunteers anymore,” announced Daisy despondently.

“Oh,” Harry replied glumly, thinking of how miserable the rest of his summer was going to be without the joys of the library service.

“…which is why I’m giving you a temporary job!” Daisy continued.

“Wait, what?” responded Harry.

“Yeah! You’d be a wooloo on extra hours, but we’re running really low on staff so everyone’s chill with it!” Daisy explained.

“Woo… Loo?” questioned Harry, in shock.

“Weekend Library Network Assistant,” Daisy clarified.

“Ah.”

“Don’t worry though - you’ll work all week! Wooloos just get paid less per hour. In the olden days we also didn’t leave them alone, but now we do and just hope for the best!” added Daisy cheerfully.

* * *

Later that day, Harry signed a contract selling his soul to Surrey County Council for the rest of the summer. For a non-measly sum of £9.30 per hour! He decided not to inform the Dursleys of his new non-volunteer status.

He discovered that Gringotts were happy to issue him a muggle-style bank card and supply him with an account number and sort code for payroll purposes. This was especially fortunate when Daisy decided to apprise him of the Dress Code.

“You gotta like, wear clothes,” supplied Daisy unhelpfully.

“But like, what sorta clothes?” asked Harry.

“Smart casual?” Daisy offered.

“But what does that mean?”

“No open-toed shoes, maybe less of the distressed look?”

“But the whole world is distressed right now, Daisy”.

“But Little Whinging Library sure isn’t! We’ve got you - the saviour of the Library world!”

“Noooooo!” cried Harry.

* * *

Harry showed up to the library the next day in nicer clothes. Daisy was so pleased by this that they presented him with the greatest honour known to librarykind - a green lanyard!

After giving Harry his computer logins and his very own email address, and of course reminding him that he was now a government official, Daisy decided to explain to Harry the many, many new things he had to learn.

“I’ve got no clue who your line manager is - it’s not me because I’m not technically a manager, just a volunteer champion, and you’re no longer a volunteer,” they explained. “I’m sure you’ve probably got one, though! Maybe they’ll phone us one day.”

“But what about Performance Conversations?” asked Harry, having just got to that part of the guidelines.

“Firstly they’re fake news. Secondly you’re on a temporary contract so you wouldn’t get one anyways!” they reassured.

“Awesome!” responded Harry, who’d been very grateful for the lack of parents evenings at Hogwarts.

This was turning out to be a very good summer, despite the corona.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (in this story, daisy is a library network assistant, aka. a newt.)
> 
> in the next chapter: going to make harry do a bus pass before they get cancelled, maybe a final rhymetime, maybe he'll meet his manager, maybe they'll start book quarantining?? who knows.


	12. bus pass!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love libraries deep down, i really do. just don't speak to me of the sucky new computer guidance because i will cry. 
> 
> in this chapter: a bus pass is created. i write a cliffhanger.

“I received a letter saying that I could come here to apply for a bus pass,” announced a mysterious gentlemanly looking man, with an air of oldness making him seem far older than the typical 64.9 year old.

“Yeah you can!” responded Daisy cheerfully. “Did ya bring proof of age and address and your national insurance number?”

“Indeed,” replied the gentleman.

“Awesome! You can be Harry’s first bus pass!”

* * *

He was not, in fact, Harry’s first bus pass, because Daisy felt it would be unwise to impart the secrets of ridiculously complex bus pass system passwords with a member of the public so nearby, and without enough time to do the subject true justice.

They instead elected to use Daisy’s login.

* * *

Harry sat behind the desk.

The mysterious gentleman sat in front of the desk.

Daisy stood eagerly behind Harry.

No-one said a word, all waiting to see what Harry would do next.

“Err… so do I select my location as Little Whinging Library?” Harry questioned.

“Yeah!” responded Daisy, relieved.

* * *

They worked through the form together using teamwork skills. Eventually, our team reached the point where they needed to prove they’d seen the proof. The gentleman was unimpressed by Harry’s poor attempts to hold his passport in front of the webcam, but he managed in the end.

“Now’s the best part!” announced Daisy.

“Err.. Right!” said Harry. “Now, we take your photo!”

“My photo?” cried the gentleman.

“Yes,” replied Harry solemnly. 

“Well I never!” the gentleman exclaimed.

“You just have to smile as if you’re about to get on a bus! Don’t worry, I won’t let Harry put a bad photo on your pass,” reassured Daisy.

“Well… I suppose so,” grumbled the gentleman.

* * *

“Within a few weeks your pass will be posted to you!” said Daisy, cheerfully.

“Thank you, young… person. I can’t wait to catch the 09:29 bus for free!” the gentleman responded, not realising the mistake he’d just made.

Harry almost felt himself in tears with the weight of the situation.

“I’m… I’m afraid not,” Daisy offered tentatively. “It’s actually forbidden to use your pass before 09:30.”

“But… but I’ll miss bingo if I catch the 10:29,” the gentleman exclaimed in horror. “Isn’t there something you can do?” he pleaded.

“No,” responded Harry simply.

“Alas,” replied the gentleman, resigned to his fate.

* * *

“That was so sad!” said Harry as soon as the man was out of earshot.

“Sometimes libraries are sad,” replied Daisy sadly.

While Daisy and Harry were wallowing in sadness, the phone rang.

“G’mornin’, li’l Whin’in lib’ry, Daisy speakin’”

“Oh hi Heather!”

“Yeah we’re having a great time! Harry’s taking so well to the promotion - just did his first bus pass and all!”

“You want us to what?”

“Oh my goodness. Cool cool cool, love u bye”

Daisy leant against the desk, an expression of horror on their face.

“What’s up?” asked Harry.

“She wants us… Oh Harry, she wants us to quarantine the books!” Daisy replied, metaphorical tears streaming down their face.

Harry looked around the library.

Ten thousand books looked back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my first ever cliffhanger uwu. this chapter was speedily written before and after i paid my water bill (yeah my support worker helped me, she's a legend). 
> 
> next chapter: we find out what book quarantine entails, and the phone call is discussed. maybe a final rhymetime. maybe something else. oh, and harry should set a password for the bus pass system (a terrifying ordeal).

**Author's Note:**

> now off hiaitus!! i'm so sorry i told you all to become summer reading challenge volunteers and then summer reading challenge volunteers were banned. maybe next year?? libraries are still great. borrow a book sometime or something.


End file.
